Dear Jack,
I was just wondering if anyone else experiences moments of dread or a sinking feeling in their chest, and how do you overcome that feeling? I never had these feelings before my girl passed and am not quite sure what they are or what they mean.
When a loss happens, you can feel you have no control – the loss pulls your spirits down with sadness and grief. It’s that sinking feeling. It pulls your personal energy downward and that is what you are feeling. Most if not all people feel this way when they experience great loss. These times are ironically designed to make you strong because you have to climb up out of the abyss to get to the light again and it is the climbing out of it that makes you stronger. It’s amazing how weak you can feel when you are really getting stronger. Don’t give up. What you’re feeling is normal. You will heal. Everything’s going to be okay.
Love, Jack
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About this letter
Part of the Jack McAfghan: Letters From Rainbow Bridge series, this letter answers a reader who has started to feel moments of dread and a sinking feeling in their chest since their girl passed away, something they never felt before. Jack explains that the feeling is a normal response to great loss.
Key points from Jack's reply
The reply describes how loss can leave us feeling that we have no control and how that pulls our energy downward. It adds that the climb out of that low place is what builds strength, that we can feel weak just as we are growing stronger, and that the reader will heal.
Looking after yourself in the meantime
If waves of dread or heaviness come and go, try to be kind to yourself. Slow breathing, a short walk, a call with someone who understands and a regular sleep routine can all help. If the feelings last or affect your daily life, a counselor or doctor can offer extra support.
