Dear Jack,
Is it better to euthanize before they get worse? A couple months ago I made the appointment to put my boy to sleep. He was having mini seizures. He got better. Now he's having them again and can't control his bladder. Am I being selfish?
It is the least selfish thing you can do, to let him go when the time is right. He will tell you when the time is right. In fact, he may be telling you that right now -- you must decide. Please try to quiet the chatter in your mind so that you can hear, see and feel what he is telling you. He is communicating with you all the time by his actions and in the way he looks at you. If he is unable to focus on you, unable to look you in the eyes then he is telling you already that he is on the path to Rainbow Bridge.
Get “Reflections” out and read about my sister Grady. If you don't want to read then lay down beside your boy. Try to crawl into his skin and try to feel how he feels and tune into what he is thinking. He will let you know. Quiet yourself and listen to him.
Tell him that you love him. Tell him that it's okay if he needs to leave. Give him permission to leave. He may believe, if you believe, that you cannot live without him. This may cause resistance in him and confusion. You must tell him that it's okay to go – that it's okay for him to leave this limbo where he is not fully alive and well. He will obey you, so TELL HIM. Tell him that he can direct his course and that he has many friends waiting for him over the Rainbow Bridge. Tell him what you want and what you need and tell him that whatever he needs to do for himself, to do it. You taught him obedience and he will obey. He may need your help or he may go on his own – but giving him permission is the ultimate gift.
Love, Jack
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