Dear Jack,
I am terribly worried about how my children will deal with our boy’s death. My eldest is 7 and my youngest is 4. They both saw our boy’s body before we buried him, so they both got to say goodbye to him. Later I read them the story of Rainbow Bridge, and they talk about it quite a lot. I think it has helped them come to terms with losing him. In fact, in some ways they seem to be coping better than I am.
They likely are coping better than you are. Believe it or not, this can actually be a good experience for your children. People who have not experienced death directly when they were younger can be quite disabled when it happens when they are older. It will not be long and you will see that you will all be better for having known and loved and "lost". Your boy is giving your kids the tools they need to start building their ability to handle grief and loss in the future. It is an important tool to have in a world that brings loss the longer one lives. Your kids are still young and the fact that this situation has been woven into the fabric of their experience will be a positive thing for them in the long run. You have handled the situation with sensitivity and care. You have done everything right.
The planet earth is just a small part of the universal existence of life. When our pets leave, they return by way of Rainbow Bridge to Paradise, Heaven, ether, another plane...it doesn't matter what you call it; it's all the same thing. The children typically know this. Let the children teach you what you need to remember.
Don’t be surprised if your children and remaining pets see us, hear us, feel us while you are longing, looking and striving to connect. Your pets and your young children can often sense what you cannot see. Don't force anything. Take your time. Don’t be afraid to cry for all tears serve a purpose. Remind them about Rainbow Bridge and how we'll all meet again one day. Read my books together and grow in your understanding of life and death and rebirth. Reassure them that we wait patiently for all of you. Tell them how much you need each other now, that you will heal together. Reassure them that with the passage of time you will all heal and, if it’s appropriate, your boy will lead you to another four-legged friend.
"And a little child shall lead them." Isaiah 11:6
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