Dear Jack,
I desperately want to keep my boy’s collar after he’s gone but a friend tells me that it’s best to leave the collar on because taking it off is like disowning or abandoning him. I certainly don’t want him to feel that way at the end. What do you recommend?
Take my collar off? Leave my collar on? It’s really a decision only you can make based on your pet’s specific personality and preferences. In my case she often took my collar off because we always had a fun routine. At the end of each day when we were all done with our tasks and our evening walk, she would call me to her and ease my collar off --- “Ahhh,” she would say, “doesn’t that feel better?” and she would pet and scratch my neck where the collar had been. I associated the collar with being comfortable at home, knowing that my work for the day was finished. So needless to say, it made me feel good when she slipped my collar off at the very end. I knew my work on earth was complete.
So slip it off ahead of time for comfort. Or slip it off after he has gone into Rainbow Sleep. Or bury him with it if it makes you feel better. It won’t matter to him then because he will already be living in the bliss that is Heaven and all that will matter to him is that you find comfort somewhere during this time of grieving.
To memorialize your pet, consider making a donation of needed items to a local animal shelter. You can ask family and friends to donate, which might present a good opportunity to talk about your deceased pet with them. If you aren’t up to getting another pet right away, maybe you can volunteer your time at a local shelter. Learn about therapeutic approaches to coping with grief, loss, and bereavement. Consider reaching out to a therapist to learn more.
When you are in "calm creative mode" you are more in the wavelength with the Rainbow. One of our members is carving a box for her dog’s ashes. Kate just finished writing a song that she will put with music and video. Photo albums are great -- they make you cry but, in the end, you have something to be proud of -- and when you are proud, your pet is proud too. By taking care of you, you are taking care of them. Hope this makes sense. You are loved. You are not as alone as you think you are.
Love, Jack
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