Dear Jack,
It has been a month since my girl died. My heartache has eased up a little, but it is still there. How much longer will this take?
It may take a month, a season or a year or more or less. Everyone goes at their own pace. It is the body’s nature to heal a wound and it is the spirit’s nature to heal from the throes of grief. Time, faith and support are the keys to healing.
We have talked about Time and how it doesn’t exist, but it does on Earth so it must be considered. The amount of time it takes for someone to heal can vary dramatically and no one can tell someone else how quickly they should go. Grief is complex and when someone is healing, they are often healing all the other losses in life that preceded the current loss. Every loss brings every other unresolved loss back for healing. Don’t let anyone tell you how fast or slow to go. Just keep moving forward as best you can, one step at a time.
Love, Jack
Credits:
About this letter
This letter is part of Jack McAfghan: Letters From Rainbow Bridge. A reader writes that it has been a month since their girl died, that the heartache has eased a little but is still there, and asks how much longer it will take. Jack's reply is about time, faith and support.
What Jack says about healing
Jack says it may take a month, a season or a year or more, and that everyone goes at their own pace. He describes time, faith and support as the keys to healing. He also notes that grief is complex and that every new loss can bring earlier unresolved losses back for healing. His advice is not to let anyone tell you how fast or slow to go, and to keep moving forward one step at a time.
When old losses resurface
It is common for a recent loss to bring back older grief. If that happens, treat it as part of the process rather than a setback. Speaking with a counselor or joining a pet loss support group can help you work through it at your own pace.
