Dear Jack,
What can I do to honor his birthday which is coming up next week? Do you have any ideas?
Honor him in a way unique to him. Make something for him that would bring him running. My birthday was on Halloween. She makes my favorite pumpkin, carrot cake with peanut butter frosting and puts candles in it in the shape of a "J". You don’t have to bake a cake; a single votive candle will do! Joey and Immy wear my Halloween bandanas to “celebrate.” Even Kate wore one of my Jack-O-Lantern bandanas one year.
Have a celebration of his life, not of his death. If you must celebrate his date of death, make it his Rainbow Bridge “birthday”. The first day of the rest of his eternal life. Do whatever you have to do to keep it positive and sweet. The day will arrive, if you allow yourself to heal, when the anniversary comes and goes without your notice. At first you might feel guilty but please try to realize what a triumph it is. It’s okay. You will do the right thing. Maybe you can come up with a game or shared memories or something else meaningful to you, in honor of your boy. Or maybe just let the day pass and think about him tomorrow.
Love, Jack
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