Dear Jack,
I thought I had prepared myself. A friend said to me maybe the way he took the turn for the worse was a gift from him to me. My poor boy didn't really need much help from the vet in the end and now I wonder as he was nearly gone anyway that I should have just let him pass without the vet. Maybe, though, he could have laid there for hours. I had to help my boy if he was in pain and suffering...
There was no way for you to gauge what more could’ve happened. If only this. If only that. Humans can beat themselves up asking themselves these questions. Kate could choose to beat herself up for letting me suffer for 48 hours. Sure, it might have been kinder to put me to sleep but working for hospice tainted her judgment and she wanted me to go on my own terms at home. If we had gone to the After-Hours Animal Hospital and perhaps relieved my physical suffering, I likely would have been closed off, away from Kate in a crate or a clinic room or a kennel. We had been together through everything and we needed to be together for this. We would have been denied the honor and privilege of walking the final and private path together. I can pretty much guarantee that without that experience, she would not have written any of our books.
Death is called the final stage of growth. If you value growth, you have lost nothing. I am a part of the person Kate has come to be; I am a part of everything she does, and every decision she will come to make in her life. How can she ever believe I am gone??? I am only Gone from Her Sight. It’s the very same for you.
Love, Jack
Credits: Jack McAfghan: Letters From Rainbow Bridge
