Dear Jack,
I posted on Facebook that I lost my 18-year-old girl. One “friend” replied, ‘It’s just a cat.’ A couple of “friends” even clicked on the smile emojis! Can you believe their ignorance! I am ready to Unfriend them!!! Is there any reason not to?
One must be careful not to make important decisions in the early months of grief, especially during the anger stage when you see everything through a filter of agitation. When you think you have nothing left to lose, it makes it easy to abandon the things that you think no longer serve you, but sometimes you regrettably cut ties that bind with friends and family.
For whatever reason, these friends are not capable of understanding the level of love that you have experienced with your girl. Maybe they have never experienced unconditional love. They either have or they haven’t. They may come to learn in life or they may not.
Try not to react right now by Unfriending --- you may regret it in the long run. Grief can get in the way of making the best decisions for yourself. These people may have many other fine qualities and this is something they simply haven’t learned yet. Pity them, they never knew or recognized an animal’s deepest devotion. Focus on the other loving comments you receive.
It's part of your growth to become perceptive and to learn to let go. You don’t have to burn the bridge, just don’t give it your energy anymore. It's one of the gifts your girl has given you -- the gift of discernment and forgiveness. Just remember, those who seem to need the least love need it the most. Everybody is doing the best they can, even if they hurt your feelings. Forgive them. They know not what they do. Whatever their age, they are young souls who have not yet learned that unconditional love is a most precious commodity.
Love, Jack
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