Dear Jack,
As the holidays draw near, I find myself terrified of listening to old songs or following normal traditions like putting up the tree and buying presents. I seem OK to my family and friends because I pretend that I'm OK. I want to do these things, but at the same time, I'm terrified of all they will remind me of. My baby was always the happiest when we did these things. We now have a new furry angel in our lives but I still miss him so much. How do I get through the holidays without breaking down into a million pieces?
I normally suggest that you Stay in Your Truth most of the time. However, if you have to pretend a bit to get through the upcoming holidays, you have to pretend. It can actually help to "Fake It ‘Till You Make It". Going through the motions is far better for healing than not facing the reality of it at all.
Sometimes having something subtle, perhaps a comfort stone or a piece of jewelry, a crystal, a tattoo, something tangible helps to defer the anxiety and nervous energy. It's okay to talk about your grief too, but not too much to those who simply don't understand. It can also be quite handy to excuse oneself and go to bed early. That's okay to a point. Balance is the key. Balance the holiday and balance yourself as you move forward to the next anniversary without your friend. Balance is a key to all healing. Time and faith will take care of the rest.
Creating new traditions is also a very good way to move forward and to honor us at the same time. Just try to keep it positive. Keep moving forward. Find some kind of joy in the season, even if you have to put a gift under the tree to you from your fur angel.
Love, Jack
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