Dear Jack,
Does my boy know how much I love him? I remember clearly the day my boyfriend first brought him home to see what I thought. My boy ran to me, jumped on my knee and nibbled my ear. I felt instant love and I'll never forget that moment. I just can’t help but wonder if I made a mistake, if I did the right thing to put him to sleep.
For as long as you grieve, you will ask yourself “What If?” If you knew where he is now, you would never ever wish him back from the love and the comfort of where he waits for you. You would not wonder if you did the right thing, you would know you did the right thing.
As for whether your boy knows you love him, he knows everything. He knows every feeling and desire of your heart and he knows every thought you think. He is no doubt trying to reach you. You are forever connected in your heart and soul and there is a way for you to build a new kind of relationship there. I wish you success on this new journey.
Love, Jack
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About this letter
This letter is part of Jack McAfghan: Letters From Rainbow Bridge. A reader asks whether their boy knows how much they love him, and wonders whether they made a mistake in choosing to put him to sleep. They remember the day he was first brought home, when he ran to them, jumped on their knee and nibbled their ear. Jack's reply speaks to both questions.
What Jack says
Jack says that for as long as you grieve, you will ask yourself what if. He tells the reader that if they knew where their boy is now, they would know they did the right thing, and that their boy knows every feeling and thought of their heart. He suggests that there is a way to build a new kind of relationship through the heart and soul.
Living with the what-ifs
Questions like these are a normal part of grief. Writing down the happy memories, such as the day your pet first came home, can balance the what-ifs with what actually happened. A counselor or pet loss support group can help if the doubts become overwhelming.
