Dear Jack,
All I do is cry when I look at the urn of ashes on my altar dresser. I want to touch her fur! I want to feel the vibration of her purr! How do I handle this? How? When I can’t see her, touch her, feel her.
When I am gone from you, you crave to feel my fur, see my face, hold my paw. It’s because you have learned that the things you can touch and feel are the things that are real, but they are not. Over time, they will get old, decline; the people, the houses, the rocks, the mountains. They will all crumble, tarnish and rust. This is because they are not as real as other things that last forever. It is one of the things we come to teach. Love is the only thing that never dies.
Still you cling to my urn. You gaze at my photos and cry watching our videos. You sleep under my blankets and caress my well-worn collar. You jingle my tags. As you heal, you need these tangible things when I am gone from your sight. It’s how you process. You may feel foolish and desperate as you squeak the squeaker in my favorite toy, but you need the feel, the sound, the touch, the softness, the plastic button nose you sewed back on a hundred times.
I want you to look at my photos, cry over our videos that show us together when we were vibrant and alive before there was ever any thought of illness or loss. Cradle my collar. Hug my ashes. Connect with me. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. I’ll help you to work through it until I see that gentle smile that I hold so dear when you look at me.
Oh, to let go of the tangible things and believe in the intangibles like love, hope and faith. It is a hard lesson, for humans are taught that money buys stability but look, there are so many rich people who are unhappy! Look around. The world is yours for the taking. Love is its most precious resource. When we are all united in Heaven, you will value nothing that you have valued here. There is a sense of peace so deep that no dream in this world has ever brought a dim imagining of what it could be.
We do our best to teach you what's important. Living in the moment. Valuing our time together. Knowing that the Life to Come is far more important than the life you are living now. When you keep your heart in the right place, everything else comes along. When you are fulfilled and want for nothing, then you are given everything. Only that which lasts will be yours forever. Faith is what makes a person strong...and living in the love in your heart instead of the chaos in your head.
Love, Jack
"The middle of your heart is like the middle of the hurricane. There is a place deep in the center that is protected and still while the storm rages all around. Go to that place in your heart and you will find me there."
Only Gone from Your Sight
You must remember that this life is just a fragment of Who You Are -- a tiny shard. Where you are going, where your best friend is waiting, is Everything. You are just going through an initiation here. A school of life, a practice round.
You are going to be exhausted for a while. Grief takes more out of you than anything else. Surround yourself with things that feel good: Cozy blankets, your favorite tea, comfort food and as many good thoughts as you can find right now. You're going to be okay. We’re so proud of you. Your best friend is proud of you too. There is so much love going both ways even now. All the "firsts" are behind you. You graduate into the next realm of grief. It gets better from here. I promise.
Credits:
