Dear Jack,
I am sending you a picture of my big boy. I miss him so much and when I see this photo all I see is his sadness and pain. I don’t know how I never noticed it before. I feel so bad! I never knew how he was suffering. Can you help me please? I can’t bear these thoughts. I’m afraid he is still suffering.
Oh but he is not sad in this photo, dear one. It's your own sadness that you see. It’s your suffering; it’s your pain that you feel, projected onto him. Maybe he was tired but he knows that he lived a beautiful life with you, he knew he was loved by you and he still knows you love him, the one he loves. He knows that someday you will be reunited in Paradise. He now lives in a place where there is no suffering of any kind. No fatigue, no remorse. He is free of everything but love.
Love, Jack
Credits:
About this letter
This letter is part of Jack McAfghan: Letters From Rainbow Bridge. A reader shares a photo of their big boy and says that when they look at it all they see is sadness and pain, which they never noticed before. They feel terrible and are afraid he is still hurting. Jack's reply gently reframes what they are seeing.
What Jack says
Jack tells the reader that the boy is not sad in the photo and that the sadness they see is their own, projected onto him. He says the pet knows he lived a beautiful life, knew he was loved and still knows it. He describes a place free of tiredness and remorse, where there is only love.
When photos bring pain
Looking at photos after a loss can bring sadness, and it is easy to read our own grief into a picture. If it helps, set aside photos that bring pain for now and keep those that show your pet at their happiest. A counselor or support group can help if guilt or worry about your pet's last days keeps returning.
