Dear Jack,
I’ll never be the same again.
It’s true. You won’t ever be the same again. But you will heal after a period of recovery. You will grow and transform into something even more beautiful than you were before you learned to love in this relationship. Before you learned to let go.
If you have ever known a recovering alcoholic or other addict, they will tell you the same. They lived life a certain way. Then one day everything changed. Perhaps they hit “bottom” and they decided to let go of their addiction. They went through a transformative process. They learned who they were without their addiction. They accepted that they were powerless and that their lives had become unmanageable. They came to grips with building character and strength deep inside of them that they did not have before. They built their faith in God and the unseen world around them. Every day they became stronger in who they were without their addiction. Every day is a choice you make.
Grief Recovery is not unlike Recovery. People who have been through recovery, for whatever reason, are stronger, deeper, have more faith than those who never chose to look at themselves. Grief, in its purest form, makes you take a good hard look at yourself. You must make your faith stronger than your fear; stronger than your desperation, your loneliness, your grief.
In a way you are born again each and every time you grieve a loss. Look back on your life and ask yourself if you are that little kid you used to be? Who was that? Who are you now? Who are you going to be? We are born again every time we learn something that changes the way we live our lives. We are also all born again the moment that we die.
The jail door stands open. You hold the keys to the rest of your life. Are you ready to walk through it today? Or will you be like the dog who has been trained by the boundary of an invisible fence that he cannot pass through, long after the electricity has been shut off.
Keep the faith in yourself. Keep the faith in your beloved. You are on a remarkable journey to self-realization.
Love, Jack
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