Dear Jack,
I am not typically an angry person, but I’m feeling really uncomfortable because I’m mad at everyone and everything. My loss has knocked me for a loop and it doesn’t feel like it’s helping matters, on the contrary! Please help.
Anger is the second stage of grief, after Denial/Shock. Most people naturally suppress their anger. They suppress it until the anger festers and then one day they blow up because all the little angers gathered along the way come roaring out, usually out of context.
The anger of grief is evidence of your strength coming back. It’s fuel when you’ve had no energy, when you are exhausted by your grief. Anger feels better because you feel your power, even though sometimes the power of your anger can overwhelm you. The fact of the matter is that you are getting stronger. It takes energy to be angry and the fact that you are angry is evidence that you are making progress. The day will come when you will sense her there with you. The anger will naturally fade away as you process your grief.
Love, Jack
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