Dear Jack,
I still miss my beautiful, loving little girl who I lost a year ago. I came home from work one day and she had passed away in the new bed that I just bought for her. That was one of the worst days of my life, she was 14 and had not been sick. I horribly regret that I wasn't with her when her time came; that breaks my heart to this day. I feel so terrible that I didn't get to say goodbye.
If it had been meant to be another way, it would have unfolded another way. It happened just the way it was supposed to happen.
We have a friend named Patty who had a beloved cocker spaniel. It was quite old and it was declining rapidly. Patty took time off from work to be with her boy. She rarely left his side that whole week. Then, at about 10:30 one night, she stepped away from him just long enough to go to the bathroom. When she came back, she found him. He had passed in the few moments when she had left his side. He was waiting for her to leave so he could leave the way he wanted to. We get very sensitive to our best friends; we don't want those last moments imprinted in your mind. We don't want you to see us until the peace has come to our face...and peace comes quickly.
Kate has worked at hospice long enough to know that people do the same thing at their time of death. There they are, in their final earthly hours, their family at their bedside in a 24-hour vigil. The moment the last family member leaves the room, the person has the space to breathe their last breath in private peace. Not all of them -- but many -- do this.
Rest assured, your girl did things on her own terms to the last moment. Please don't worry any longer! Don't you see she did not want to say goodbye? Why would she? She knows it's not goodbye! Please keep the faith that All is Well.
Love, Jack
So many of you feel sad, bad, angry or guilty that you were not at your friend's side as they passed from this life to the next. There are many people who feel like they want or need to control the final circumstances. Then when their pet dies while they are at work or at play or asleep, they blame themselves because they had the impression that they could have controlled the outcome If Only They Did This or If Only They Did That. There was NOTHING you could have done to change the outcome and it's not just about Fate or Destiny.
Many people feel bad that they were not with their pet at the moment it passed, but this is often because the pet did not want them to witness the final moments which would detract from the many good life memories shared. Kate can think back on her experience with me and do quite well until she relives my final moments at which point her energy shifts. She was with Hyex in Hyex’s final moments, as Hyex struggled to get air that did not come. Our last moment can become a point of trauma and most of us do not want you to have that memory. So that is why we wait until you turn your back or leave the room.
Your pet knows what's going on. When we live a long life or if we are sick and have time to process, we have an element of control around the Where, the When and the How. Just like people do. It is not always the case when there is an accident or a sudden trauma. When something immediate and unexpected happens, it happens so fast that we end up at Rainbow Bridge and we hardly know what hit us, before we ever experience pain.
There are reasons for everything. It is all about learning. When we get to Heaven, we know everything there is to know, every life we've ever lived. Everyone we've ever loved. There is much to know there, but there is not too much to learn there. That's why we learn so many things when we are on earth with each other. Life is the school; love is the lesson. Rainbow Bridge Heaven is our reward.
