Dear Jack,
This grief consumes me and I feel I will never heal. May I ask a personal question? How did Kate heal enough to write your books?
I knew that her grief was only temporary. Being the hospice worker that she is, I knew she knew it too, but when one is grieving, one can forget many things. You can know everything there is to know about something and then when that something happens to you, everything you ever knew flies out the window.
I knew that it would get better. I needed to know this because it made me very sad to see her so tired and unhappy. She was thinking she would never be happy again, that she would grieve and cry forever over me. She saw no end in sight to her grief. She forgot everything she’d learned.
I knew that she would miss me, but I also knew that she would grow from the experience of loving me and losing me and that in her growth she would find new strength, compassion and greater capabilities than she ever had before. I knew that this too would pass. It will pass for you too when the time is right.
She was suffering because she needed to adjust to new circumstances in her life. A life that no longer included me. She had a host of physical problems that arose because of her emotionally depressed state, including insomnia that seemed to never end. Autoimmune issues reared their heads as they are known to do when someone is in a weakened state. Her doctor recommended that she go on prescription medication but she felt that that too would be a sign of weakness; she was determined to get through this on her own. After all, she always got through everything before.
It took a long while, but in her near-desperation, she eventually turned to her faith. It was the best thing she could have done. It’s all about faith. Faith comes with healing. Healing comes with faith. Faith is the ultimate key to moving forward into a life beyond grief.
Love, Jack
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