Dear Jack,
I keep replaying images of him going through what he went through while waiting for the vet to arrive. These thoughts will not leave my mind.
Whenever you can, imagine pushing those final memories from your mind and shifting them to happier ones. We want you to remember us when life was good. If you were him, you would not want to be remembered that way. You would want to be remembered as healthy and happy and beautiful. I know it's hard and it takes strength of mind and discipline but once you do it a few times, it gets easier.
When you focus on the pain and suffering, you are really honoring your guilt and sense of helplessness. You are not honoring your friend or yourself. It is a long process and its complexity can be fueled by unresolved losses in your past. Focus on the LOVE you shared. LOVE is more powerful than guilt, more powerful than shame, more powerful than death. Love is your superpower. Love is your strength. Love is what will see you through.
Love, Jack
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